Nightstalker

What a day.  What a long, miserable day.

I spent most of today as frustrated, exasperated and angry with someone as I've been in a long time. The kind of anger and frustration that saps your energy and diffuses your focus, and leaves you a worn-out, unproductive blob of misery.  I was so exhausted after dinner that I laid down on my bed with Banks, planning to catch CNN for a while and go to bed early, making Monday, as usual, my day off.  I fell asleep and woke up, I thought, in the middle of the night. I checked my phone.  It was all of 10:45.  And I was WIDE awake, and still fuming, and so I did the only thing I could think of.  I took my walk.

Banks and I didn't leave the house til 11:15 PM.  He was limping tonight, so I brought him back after just 20 minutes.  I walked around and around the neighborhood until the darkness and the weird hour started feeling normal, and then branched out to the hills.  I brought my iphone and listened to a Fresh Air segment I'd listened to a couple of nights ago -- Aaron Sorkin, interviewed by Terry Gross.  It was funny and interesting, and the familiarity of it made it easy and comforting.  I kept a close eye on the clock, and started walking home at about 12:35.  I was alert and careful, but I wasn't scared, even after I dropped Banks off.  What I mostly was, was thirsty.  God, it was hot.  Even at that hour, it was incredibly humid, and my attractive sweat ring reached almost to my navel.

No epiphanies occurred, no deep insights were gained.  I'm just tired, too tired to put any more energy into this thing.  And that is enough.