Do you ever have a dream so horrible that you almost weep
with gratitude upon waking up and realizing you’re not trapped in that
situation? I have those every so often,
and last night was a doozy. I dreamed I
was getting married (that wasn’t the horrible part), and that, as usual, I had
waited waaaay too long to plan the wedding, arrange the flowers, the food,
etc. Worst of all, I hadn’t bought a
dress yet, and here it was, 3:30 the day of the wedding, with an hour and a
half to go. (Of course this is related
to Allison’s upcoming wedding, and Lynn’s dress search). My mother, dead 16 years, was there, fussing
in the background, but nothing was getting done. I finally decided I’d better take care of the
dress situation, and started driving towards Nordstrom’s. Here’s the most interesting part of the dream: on the way, I debated whether to go into the
store, still maintaining a façade of control, both to the sales clerks and
myself, and simply announce I had a short turnaround time, needed a certain
type of dress, and could they steer me in the right direction; or, should I
burst into the store screaming HELP ME!!!, explain the situation, knowing that everyone
would drop what they were doing and rally around me? Mercifully, I woke up before I had to make
that decision.
It didn’t occur to me until just now that the hour and a
half might be related to the time I spend on my walk every day. I don’t THINK I feel any more stressed than
usual, or that my daily walk is creating pressure, but who knows? The human brain, to paraphrase Tobias Wolf,
is a dark forest.
More rain. I felt
like I really needed to push myself tonight, so I left Banks at home and did a
VERY hard five miles up and down the streets along Stacy Park. Up and down, up and down, until the clock
said 45 minutes, then backtracked the exact same path. Five minutes before I got home, another shower
hit, and I jogged the last half mile or so.
I’m already regretting that I didn’t wear the brace. I’m going to feel this in my knees tomorrow.
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