On a Roll

Somebody stop me.  I couldn’t help myself, I did five miles yet again yesterday, after swearing to myself this would be my day off.  I took the bus to work, but when it was time to go home, I found myself craving that long, relentless hill up South Congress.  I googled the distance again – 2.9!  Why did I think it was 2.4, or 2.6?  Think of all the times Banks and I did a round trip from home to office, and actually did six miles instead of five!  On the way home I stopped at the dollar store to stock up on Cottonelle, felt an unexpected craving for a chicken pot pie in the freezer there, microwaved it back home and took Banks for two miles. 

A long-time and beloved employee retired today.  Renowned for her quirky introversion, she (let’s call her Pat) had insisted from the beginning that she wanted no party, no cake, no acknowledgement whatsoever of this milestone. Reluctantly we agreed.  But around noon, our boss Mark appeared with a plaque and announced his intention to present it to Pat in the conference room.  The rest of us exchanged nervous glances.  “Mark, you know she doesn’t want any –“  He waved away our reservations, burst into her office and, oblivious to the look of horror on her face, dangled the plaque in front of her and led the way to the conference room.  Most of us followed, sheep-like, while a couple of Pat’s friends remained behind, worried looks on their faces.  After a few minutes, when it was clear that Pat had no intention of joining us, Mark cheerfully insisted we’d bring the party to her!  We shuffled back down the hall, only to learn that Pat had burst into tears and fled the scene.  She sent Aimee a text from Chili’s making it clear she would not be returning until everyone had gone home.  After we got over the shock, Aimee and I spent the rest of the afternoon exchanging cackling texts about the social ineptitude of our office, and Mark’s bull-in-a-china-shop management style.  Aimee christened him “Our own Michael Scott.”  OMG…..how I love these crazy people I work with.